Meaning of the Song "You're Beautiful"

Jon sucks in English and BM but he secretly fell in love in a girl who only understands English and BM. But Jon heard that the song "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt is a very common song to listen to especially when someone is in a love song kinda mood so he wanted to dedicate this song to the girl. However, he doesn't really understand the song so he wanted me to tell him the meaning of that song just in case it has a hidden meaning like the "isi tersirat" in BM. I didnt know if there IS a hidden meaning in that song so I looked out in the Internet for it so ya. But the meaning was really unexpected..........

Ladies and gentlemen, "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt
*meaning in brackets

My like is brilliant
(i m very smart)

My love is pure
(i've never done that one b4)

I saw an angel
(my house is haunted)

Of that I'm sure
(i'm very sure)

She smiled to me on the subway
(......someone is stalking me in the LRT.......)

She was with another man
(she's a chikopeh)

But I'll won't lose em, sleep on night, cause I've got a plan
(my mattress very comfortable)

*chorus
You're beautiful
(you're very pretty)

You're beautiful
(you're very pretty)

You're beautiful, it's true
(i'm not bluffing)

I saw your face, in the crowded place
(you're also quite fat coz so many ppl i still can see you!)

And I don't know what to do
(coz i had no food)

Cause I'll never be with you
(i scared you'll eat me)


Special thanks to the Muttons to Midnight for posting this song and it's "hidden meaning" on Youtube.
Most importantly, DON'T DEDICATE THIS SONG!!!