Insomnia 2.0

as those of you might know from my frequent complaints in the past, i do suffer from insomnia quite a lot. but those were nothing compared to what i have now.

my new recently updated insomnia is ridiculous! what used to happen to me is that no matter what time i go to bed, i stay awake until 3 or 4 am and finally sleep because my body simply don't have the energy to go on, sort of like a car running completely out of fuel. but my body seems to have acquired a new upgrade. apparently i now have a system installed in my body that will recharge it's battery veeeeery slowly, which is fine. i can now stay awake longer and don't get tired as quick. but the negative side is that i'm never completely out of juice and hence can never seem to fall asleep, unless the regeneration system can't keep up.

sounds too complicated? well i'll tell you what happens nowadays.

i go to bed around 12am to 1am, lie in bed for a long time, and watch the sun rise from my bed through my window. what happens is that i feel very, incredibly fresh even at 1am, but force myself to go to bed because i know i have classes from 8am. my mind then consciously for itself into subconsciousness, which is like trying to life yourself into the air by lifting your butt with your hands. it's just not gonna happen! result, i go tired as the regen system can't keep up (output>input), total energy goes close to 0% and my body goes into sleep mode.

but everyone knows that in sleep mode the human body spends next to no energy, so as soon as i recover maybe 3% of my energy, my body automatically reboots itself and i'm fully awake again. this cycle of getting tired, go into sleep mode, recharge phase, and reboot takes about 10 minutes so the result is that i can never sleep for more than 5 minutes and by 8am, the most i have is 3% energy. which isn't fine.

after experimenting for a few weeks, apparently the only time which i can properly sleep is 10am and i wake up, genuinely fully charged, at 4pm.

anyone know how to uninstall this shitty automatic upgrade and go back to factory version?

blue eyes

Porsche vs Ferrari

which is better? orange or apple? apple or android? cars or motorcycles? questions like these have haunted minds of people all around the world for centuries, brilliant of foolish alike. each have their own preferences and debate endlessly while the rest of the world who just don't care either watch in amusement or mind their own business. a few days back a friend of mine engaged me in one of those classic questions on facebook and to avoid being a digital clown on the internet and essentially spamming notifications on those who have unfortunately forgotten to unsubscribe from that post, i've moved the argument here, on a blog that no one actually bothers to read. the famous question is this: porsche or ferrari?

this is a question that haven't been around too long, only a couple of decades, but it will continue to bug car fans until flying vehicles like those in star wars appear. anyway, on to the eternal debate:

firstly, let me state that my respect for porsche is boundless and it is not for no reason that they are one of the top names in the vast world of automobile manufacturers. i like the way the germans try to make everything as cost effective as possible. the statement from some porsche fans that say that porsche have the highest power delivery to fuel consumption ratio might be slightly over the top, but their achievements and their ability to manufacture great cars are doubtless. they are the symbol of typical german realism and engineering excellence.

 

but that is also why i respect, but don't love them. because to be realistic means not to dream too much, and i like dreaming. as opposed to their german rivals, the red stallions are flamboyant, ignorant, and mad. they don't want to be in the top of charts, but to have their posters pinned on every child's walls. they are no law-obeying loyalties, but wild souls that don't like to be bounded by senseless (to them anyway) restrictions. they pay no attention to the polar-bear-lovers and tree huggers and just want to burn all depleting sources of petrol and leave a cloud of smoke of burned rubber in their wake. in place of common sense, ferrari have passion.

   

at this point i will concede that one of my only source of reference is Top Gear UK, the british automotive show hosted by 3 crazy blokes who love cars.some of you might say that it is unfair to do that and you are right. however, since every other show is either too factual to be any interesting or just downright horrible i shall ignore all of you.

anyway, there you go. porsche vs ferrari. germany vs italy. common sense and realism vs passion and madness. 

ferrari is mad. they are insane and irrational. but that's the point. while porsche wants to please their customers, ferrari just ignore them. if you demand them to build a car that the community wants or a car that is eco-friendly, they'll just ask you to bugger off and annoy somebody else. they are uncompromising. they are true to their own philosophy cast all other opinions away.enzo ferrari, founder of, ferrari, even rejected a proposal by a man who eventually founded Lamborghini (which i think is a mistake). even the latest FF, which they say will suit the demand of the people by being a hatchback and has 4WD and hence, usable everyday, has a V12 in it. a V12! why would you want something like that in your daily car? you'll empty the tank by the time you finish reach the grocery! 

Ferrari FF (supossedly "daily car")

ferraris are purpose built. they want to be astonishing and magnificent. and they ARE. they have no intention of building small affordable cars or off-roaders just to increase sales. they only build supercars because that's the only thing they want to build.

they are filled with passion and soul. they don't want their customers to enjoy their journey. they want them to be astonished each and every time they press the ignition button. 

that, is what ferrari is all about.

The Winning Mentality Arsenal Lacks

there's a significant difference between Arsenal and teams like Man Utd, Barcelona etc that I've observed  this season. They always win, no matter the situation. People can say that they were lucky, they had the help of the referee and whatnot but they win nonetheless. Arsenal is the exact opposite: gallant losers. We want to play beautiful football. We take pride in playing cleanly and fairly. We hold our heads high even if we lose because it was a good game. But fact is, a win is a win and a lost is a lost. And the results are what that matters and really unfortunately, we've been ending up on the losing side for the past 8 years.

so what's the matter?

quality of the players? many arsenal fans will say yes and complain that arsenal don't really have world class players and they do have a point. but the players we have aren't really as bad as many fans think. on the attacking front, giroud isn't the fastest player but he can hold up play, can score and is very good at assists. he was the top scorer for montpellier last season in ligue 1 and it proves a lot. walcott really improved a hell lot this season with his composure, finishing, decision, timing etc and it is proven as he is the top scorer of the club. in midfield, cazorla is a magician and wilshere is en route to becoming a legend for arsenal. i'll just skip the defense because no matter how you think about it, its horrible.

manager? arsene wenger has been at the helm for 16 years and the only reason he's capable of doing that is because he's really really good at it. again, fans would argue that in half his tenure he has made sure that the trophy cabinet is empty but also remember that in his first half of his tenure he has kept it full. besides, he was the one that created the "Invincibles" and even alex ferguson haven't been able to do that in is 25 years at united.

transfer policy? i admit that i was really frustrated in the past few transfer windows. seeing our star players leave one by one and being replaced by players i haven't really heard of, like nacho monreal and giroud. not every purchase have been successful, namely andre santos and gervinho but most were undiscovered gem, like cazorla. many fans outside spain haven't really heard of him because the teams he were playing for (malaga and villareal) are constantly overshadowed by la liga's powerhouses, namely barcelona and real madrid. not to mention current first team members like arteta (everton), koscielny (fulham), mertesacker (werder bremen) just to name a few. as former director david dean said, arsene wenger doesn't pay to buy world class players. he molds them. and then sell them off

so what is really lacking in this arsenal team that fails to meet expectations time and time again? as arsenal legend ian wright, along with many other famous people say: winning mentality. there's no doubt that arsenal wants to win. everyone wants to win. but how much are you willing to give just to win? are you willing to give up all your strength to win the ball off the opponents' feet? are you willing to risk an injury to take that shot? are you willing to give it all you've got and make that tackle?

i'm sorry but the only player i can see doing that is young jack wilshere. the others seems like they play because they get paid to play. like they're forced to. even for our captain thomas vermaelen! he used to be the guy shouting at the back four, keep them concentrated, and runs forward like there's no tomorrow but since he's became the captain, i can't see it anymore. i really don't see the spirited centre half that scored the winner against newcastle in the final minutes of the game last season. sagna no longer runs like he's life is on the line when chasing wingers. the guy with weird hair that scored the goal that started the comeback against tottenham that finally ended 5-2 last season is no more. all of them used to play for arsenal because they love to play. and they loved to play for arsenal. but now they play like they are forced to do something annoying, like homework.

we used to have 11 players on the pitch, filled with passion like wilshere's but now that's no longer the case. every time i see an arsenal game i feel like it is wilshere against the rest of the world.

A Typical United Fan

so i was having a beer with a friend the other day at a party. one guy in his twenties (i think) came up to me and we eventually ended up talking about football. it was a bit hard in the beginning because both of us speak horrible german but then he turned out to be english so the conversation went much easier. and then he revealed that he was a united fan and i was like, "here we go again..."

it started out pretty normally, talking about who is the best team in the world, best goals ever, best game ever seen, etc etc etc but then he started talking about the best team in the whole wide world and then he said, and i quote, "we can beat any team in the world with 7 men even without playing the keeper!" i'm sorry but what the f*ck!!

having confidence in your team is great but seriously, what the f*ck was going on in his mind! manchester united indeed is a great team i have to admit but to say that they can win against any team in the world with 7 men AND without the keeper, that is WAY out of the line man! he must've been out of his mind!

anyway, i then reminded him about the champions league final a few seasons back when they were practically raped by barcelona time and again and then he snorted and remarked furiously, "barcelona is only good at passing the ball. we lost to them because the captain didn't play... barcelona was lucky and the ref was helping them!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbOOcqjwDCw
(you can watch the match full highlights from this link)

i was stunned and stared at him for one full second then laughed my ass off, spilling half of my priceless beer because of this idiot. the captain was (and still is) nemanja vidic and he said he didn't play! now that i watched the match highlights again, whoever assisted rooney for united's solitary goal was even offside and he claimed that the ref helped THEM! besides, the game was so one-sided that it wasn't even a match anymore, it was utter humiliation. that retard must have been watching the replay of one of his FIFA games...

i couldn't help myself anymore so i asked him one last question,
"who is the current captain of man utd?"
"roy keane"

i simply left.

there you go. typical manchester united fans. i'm not saying that all united fans are idiots, in fact, a friend of mine is a united fan and he is not an idiot, just that the number of retarded united fans are more than twice the number of idiotic fans from every other team in the world added together.

there you go, if you want a club that is great in almost every single way, but piled with fans with rotten brain, manchester united is your answer.

3 tough choices

good day people. it's been a while and i would've liked to say that i this blog hasnt been updated because i was busy, but fact is that i almost totally forgot about it.

so, for those who bother to care, this is an update about my life.

personally, nothing much has changed. football and cars are still a big part of my life and arsenal fc's inconsistence is as usual, throwing me into despair.

academic wise, i face 3 very tough choices.

let's start by explaining my current situation.

i successfully entered university of applied science mannheim in germany. not exactly my first choice, but better than nothing nonetheless. and for those who accepted my application, i am eternally grateful.

however, the course that i am studying is not my first choice as well. most people who know me knows, that the course i want the most is maschinenbau (fahrzeugtechnik), which translates to mechanical engineering (automobile technology) and the course i having now is automation technology. not such a big difference in terms of the name and spelling, but quite a big difference otherwise. the thing is though, it has always been my decision to change my course in the 2nd semester to maschinenbau in the same university.

however (again), i found out a few things that has thrown me into a big problem, which is the "schwerpunkt", or "emphasis" i guess you can say. the "schwerpunkt" i am obsessed to study is, as said, automobile technology (study about cars) and the one im currently having is automaton technology. thing is though, automobile technology is not offered in mannheim. which is tough, because i want nothing but that. so here i am, facing 3 tough choices.

1. continue with automaton technology

not my cup of tea if you ask me. and for valid reasons.

for starters, i have to study programming and electrical engineering. initially i thought that would be fun because i always admired those people that can write lines and lines of codes which no one else understands. after going through the lectures for about a month however, i found out that i absolutely detest the subject. it is just... not for me. not because of the professor, which is apparently great for other students but somehow not for me. i simply hate it and the thought of having to use this knowledge for the rest of my life gives me nightmare. 

electrical engineering is also not my taste but it's not as bad.

2. change to maschinenbau in uni. mannheim

not a bad choice, except for the "schwerpunkt". the "schwerpunkt" offered here is contruction technology and production technology. again, not a bad choice but not what i want. and doing something i don't like is, as many people told me, living a nightmare.

3. change to maschinenbau in other university.

most logical choice, and seems to suit me perfectly, in almost every sense, except for one thing: what do i have to go through for this.

now i really hate this part.

what i will have to do, is to apply for other universities for the next semester that offers "schwerpunkt" automobile technology, hopefully get accepted, and move houses (if accepted). that would be university application all over again!! and truth be told, i really really hated that process.

choices analysis:

choice 1 is the one i would eliminate first, without a second thought because as i said, i hate to do what i hate to do. and for me to do what i hate to do for the rest of my life send chills up my spine. and it would continue to send chills up my spine every morning i wake up.

choice 2 actually has a benefit. since it is also a "maschinenbau", only with a different "schwerpunkt", the subjects are similar in many ways. hence, i will be able to change my "schwerpunkt" even later in my studies. not bad. sadly however, if i DO continue with it for more semesters, chances are that i will continue until the end of my studies.

choice 3 is so far still my best hope of a happy life. since at the beginning of the summer semester i would finish semester 1, i can start semester 2 in "schwerpunkt" automobile technology. it will be tough, as there are subjects that i would have to retake, meaning double work in semester 2. all the troubles i mentioned will be extremely annoying, but not something new, and considering that i'd be able to supposedly enjoy the rest of my life, it WILL be worth while. worst to worst, i'll have to restart from semester 1, which is more annoying because i'll be another semester behind my peers, but still worth it.

for all choices to be available however, there is one last test i will have to go through: DSH. it's the german proficiency test. those informed will know that though i didn't exactly fail my previous test, TestDAF, it wasn't prestigious enough for the universities to accept it, leading me to have no choice but university mannheim. not exactly bad, not in any way in fact, but just not my first choice.

Bayern München vs Real Madrid - A dramatic movie

i watched the uefa champions league semi-final 1st leg in allianz arena just a few moments ago, and when the game was over, the 1st thought that came into my mind was: that was a fucking movie.

and it was a really good one.
one that involved, heroes, villians, conflicts, surprises, suspense, and of course, a dramatic ending. everything you find in a top-class movie.

it started out well for FC Bayern München (fcb from here onwards).
fcb had a gameplan to frustrate the Real Madrid (rm)'s talented forwards and sat back stubbornly while rm controlled possession. but only when özil's through pass released karim benzema, who forced fcb keeper neuer into a good save, did the game sprang to life. as do all movies.

then came the theatrics. at the quarter-hour mark fcb winger ribery wriggled himself into the box but was halted by a challenge from sergio ramos. it was only a soft touch, but ribery fell so dramatically that he could've stood a chance in the oscars.

moments later however, fcb broke the deadlock. rm failed to clear a corner properly and allowed ribery (the actor) to slot in to ball through holes in masses of limbs. fcb took the lead! what a good start for the heroes! replays however shown that fcb midfield was offside and had a suspicion that he may have, in the slightest of possibilities, deflected the ball. the goal stood none the less and the home fans were cheering their heart out.

rm tried to mount a comeback, which created even more dramas. players from both sides jumped, dived and swam at both sides of the field in attempt to fool the officials, with much success. this however, created plenty of chance for fcb to counter-attack but supposedly in-form fcb striker mario goméz wasted so many chances that people might be persuaded to call him mario torres.

1st half ended, 1-0 to the german giants. fcb fans are singing in delight as they celebrate a well-earned lead. little did they know that it was not to last.

the heroes could've have wished for a worse start in the 2nd half. karim benzema gave a superb through-ball that sliced open fcb's defence and found the stylish chief villian cristiano ronaldo. famous, glamoured and flamboyant cr7 couldn't score, but forced a brave save that bounced of the palms of the brave manuel neuer. but the danger wasn't over. ronaldo picked up the rebound and his crossed found the unmarked mesut özil. özil, being half german and is the key player for the german national squad (labelled as the traitor in this film), made no mistakes and calmly slotted home with the goal barely a metre before him.

howard webb, clearly enjoying being in the spotlight, shown his true worth once again as he shown a yellow card to a rm player on a challenge. the challenge was rough and a card was rightly given to rm. but he gives it to the wrong player! rm midfield xabi alonso tackled gustavo unfairly but rm fullback fabio coentrao gets the card! foolish blunder by the obviously dumb referee.

more theatrics, as villians ronaldo and co., along with heroes robben and co. took turns to dive around the pitch, successfully lying to webb more often than not. goméz missed more chances (some glorious, some not as easy) as his day looks destined to end horribly. the frustrated striker was so frustrated that he hit the pitch angrily like a 5-year-old kid not getting his prefered christmas present.

gomez worked tirelessly but his efforts were in vain as he missed chances after chances when he should've put fcb far far ahead, until that fateful moment. time seemed to slow down as it finally arrived.

it was the final moments of the game. forever-dependable fcb captain phillip lahm jinxed passed coentrao and created acres of space for himself. he whipped a vicious low cross into the 6-yard box. gomez finally timed himself perfectly and stabbed rm in the heart as he buried lahm's cross in the back of the net and sealed the win. what moment of pure joy for the striker as he celebrated in front of his own loyal fans and was congratulated by his faithful teammates.

however, rm, as if on a sinking boat now, refused to die a silent death. they kicked and pushed and struggled like a dying beast and rm substitute marcelo was extremely lucky to stay on the pitch as he viciously kicked fcb's thomas müller's leg. the ball was rather far away but the ever-dumb webb only gave him a yellow card when it was a very clear red.

90+4: the final whistle goes and fcb has won the game! great theatrics from both sides and gomez turned from zero to hero as the home fans celebrate cheerfully. this game will set up a thriller second-leg at rm's home ground nad it should be another classical movie.

thank you for bearing with me as i sign off my very boring review.